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Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Say What?

3 overheard conversations this week.

Situation 1.
I'm at Starbucks. Trying to enjoy my coffee and a serene moment with my book "Eat Pray Love". You have to understand this book to know that it is about being quiet...being serene...spending time in silence with God. Not that I expected that to happen at Starbucks, but hey, I'm just reading the book.

I attempted sitting inside. The music was too loud. How can I identify with a girl in India taking a vow of silence before God while Jakob Dylan is singing in my ear???

So I go outside. It's nice and quiet. Until the paramedic students roll up.
2 girls. They take a table beside me and proceed to study aloud for their test that was going to happen the following day.

Conversation 1. (I will sensor.)
"I have to touch his Di#k?
"Yes."
"And the bal#s."
"Gross"
"And the girls va-jay-jay."
OKAY SERIOUSLY??? HELLO!!! DO YOU NOT SEE WHAT BOOK I AM READING????? I AM ON A SPIRITUAL JOURNEY HERE...CAN'T YOU SEE I AM SEARCHING FOR SOLITUDE???
I left.

Situation 2.
MOPS (Mothers of PreschoolerS)
Location: Our Church
Conversation at my table:
Girl 1 "Hey, I know you...from Sarah's party"
Girl 2 "Yeah, that was me,"
Girl 1 "What was your name? I was TOTALLY buzzed and can't remember anything from that night."

Me... Ah...so this is Mops.

Situation 3.
TARGET.
1 aisle over.
Boy "So, did any good movies come out today?"
Girl "YEAH! Sex in the F-ing (full word used) City."
Boy "Oh, I thought we had Sex in the city last night" followed by that "huh huh huh" sound that boys make when talking
about sex.
Girl " What? Oh yeah...

Me...turning the corner (cause of course I had to see the people in conversation) only to discover they could not have been 16."

Wow. What will tomorrow bring?

10 comments:

johnsonandjohnson said...

yeah...you should come sit in my office for a day---you'll be shocked to hear some of the students are talking about while waiting for us...

Sarah B. said...

I'm locking my kids in the house FOREVER.

Pot Liquor said...

Who needs books and hobbies. It sounds like ear hustling turns up a more entertaining profit! :)

Diane Davis said...

i love ear hustling! ;)

Rick said...

I agree with Jennifer. I have one kid in my 3rd period whose challenge every day is completing 3 sentences without an F-bomb. He's the one who was debating whether or not you could come to school if you were on house arrest.

Stacey said...

Trust me...MOPS can get much worse. Consider it a mission field!

The Craftypigs said...

I think you should make this a hobby and share it with us daily. Little scary out there. I read the book you're reading. I would like to know your thoughts when you're done.

Heidi said...

Holy cow. I am totally listening in on the wrong people. My eavesdropping efforts always turn up results like,

"Yeah, I have this rash..." or "Did you see that Wheel of Fortune last nigth?"

zzzzzz.....

Billy said...

Conversation #3! That is why I always say I worry about what my kids are going to get into!

Sarah said...

Seriously, compile them into a book and call it, "Ear Hustling." We'll contribute!