Sunday, March 9, 2008

We are Heroes....

I got Lexi out of the bath tonight and was in her room putting her pj's on, when I heard Haley say:

"Mom, there's a fly in the bathroom."

Me - It's okay...flys won't hurt you.
Haley - It's not a fly, it's a bee.
Me - Okay, I'm coming.

Turns out, it was a hornet...creeping along the bathroom ceiling. Curtis wasn't home, so SuperMom picks Haley up out of the bath.

Mom - Okay...wait in the hall.

Grabbing the only thing nearby...ironically a vocal instruction book that I had not seen since college, I set out to kill the hornet. I climbed on the kids stool and up on the counter so I could reach the critter. BAM! Slammed right into him. Couldn't tell if he was dead, so I grabbed a bottle of Loreal VIVE and started pounding into the book...just to be sure.

He was dead.

When I moved the book, he dropped on me and I screamed.

Haley (still in the hallway) - IS HE DEAD?

Mom - opening the door victoriously...Yes girls...he is gone. Lexi laughed out loud (a little unsure about what was happening.) and Haley clapped. I so rock!

-----5 hours later------

Curtis is concerned about our increasing Hornet Find. He discovers their Nest. It is 10:52 pm...needless to say, dark outside. But Curtis decides to play SuperDad & SuperHusband and sets out to take down their abode.

I suggested he put on Haley's NASA AStronaut Helmet to avoid massive stings (hello...does anyone remember the film 'My Girl' starring one McCauley Culkin???) I digress...

Curtis - I need something to knock it down with.

(Meanwhile, I go wash my face.)

Curtis - (coming into the bathroom) - HELLO? I need your help.

I was assigned the door position... which means to slam it shut after said hornets are chasing after Curtis (you know, like in the movies.)

Curtis is now behind the side of the house near the nest...all I hear is a water hose...then he peeks around the corner and well, let's just say...let's me know he's "concerned". I remind him he's saving all of our lives.

Water hose on...something is thrown...Curtis is running as fast as he can. He's in the house. I slam the door. No hornets followed. We are heroes.

But oh no...Curtis decides to go back out and finish the job. I'm over the drama, so I'm cleaning the kitchen. Decided to start the dishwasher so I go out to the garage to get the dishwashing detergent. When I came back in, I shut the light off...which interestingly enough, happens to be the light on the side of the know, where Curtis is slaying the hornets. I hear him start screaming...well, whispering screaming...and let's just say...well, letting me know he's "MORE CONCERNED".... I think the hornets are stinging him, so I open the door to let him run in, but he is screaming at me to turn the light on... OOPS...MY BAD.

Light turned back on.
Curtis killed hornets.
No stinging ensued.
Saved money on an exterminator.
We are seriously heroes.


VikingMom said...

Hooray for the conquering heroes! It always makes you feel good when you get the job done yourself without any complications. (I.e. stings, trips to the E.R.) By the way, "My Girl" always makes Billy cry like a baby. Maybe we should get together and watch it sometime!

Diane Davis said...

Oh my. This was laugh out loud funny. I am now ready for my day... thanks.

And, you really do rock.


Heidi said...

Great story - I laughed so loud someone came in my office and I got caught blogging during office hours. But then all was well when they read your story and laughed even louder.

Lyn said...

Hey Curtis. . .Can you help us with a little problem we're having with bees on our patio? (Just kidding!) That was quite a story - I'm glad it turned out funny and not tragic!

All I can say is "Good lookin' out, Haley! Good lookin' out!"

Don said...

All I can say is that I'm glad the weapon of choice was a vocal training book instead of a piano book. That would have been sacreligious.

And I'm a bit confused about how Curtis expressed his "concern." Am I missing something here? :)

HAHA - the word verification for this is VDMUG. Yuck!

Lisa P said...


I found your site from Jen B's and have been reading it for a little while now, but never have commented. Why do I feel guilty about admitting that...but back to the subject.

I was cracking up with this post today and I could picture it well. We live on 2 acres and really had a hard time with bees last year. Think: Aris running over a hive with a riding lawn mower and the chaos that ensued. It's a battle out there, and I'm glad to hear that you were victorious! I love the picture of your girls outside the door cheering you on--you ARE a hero!

If you want to check up on us, we're at

discomommy said...

Heroes indeed! I am reminded of the time Jon slayed a bat to protect our family. It is amusingly amazing how brave they can be when the time comes!

discomommy said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Don said...

Kristi, do you remember the HAWK that flew into Chad Jones' bedroom window when we lived at JBC? Now THAT was an interesting night!!! It took a whole team of us to get him (her?) out.

Let's not forget the baby opossum I coaxed out from under the rocking chair on 14th street!

Your old man's a hero too! NOT!

Lyonslove said...

You are a hero!! I think that every mom is. That is a great story!! I would have worn the helmet.