5 Years ago Today Part 3.

Today was the day. I was totally bumming because in preparation for a C-Section, you can't eat or drink ANYTHING (including water) from Midnight on. I felt like I was DYING of thirst. I remember staying in bed til' around 10 am. Waking up and watching Price is Right. (Don't ask.... Murder she Wrote was also one of my faves at the time. Apparently I was 68 when I gave birth.)

I digress...



Both sets of our parents came over in the morning and hung out for awhile. It was just all surreal. I was supposed to be at the hospital at 12 with a surgery at 2:30...


When we got to the hospital, we rode up in the elevator with a nurse that said, "Oh, are you the C-section scheduled for this afternoon? I hear you have a BIG BABY!" Wow. Apparently news travels fast.

There seemed to be some confusion, because I thought I had the surgery at 2:30, but really it was at 4:30. That 2 hour difference seemed like a lifetime to me.

I had my precious friends come to the hospital and hang out with me while I waited...Catherine, Celeste, Kathi, & April. They kept me entertained and laughing the entire time....until the room started spinning. Turns out I had an allergic reaction to the drug they were giving me to keep me from NAUSEA. In my case, it did the exact opposite. Oh it was bad.... The room went from noisy, happy, and fun to very quiet and serious in a matter of minutes. Then my friends all left to go in the waiting room while my mom, Curtis, and the nurse tried to keep me from fainting. Soon after that, they wheeled me into the Surgery Room.

Curtis had to wait outside while I got the Spinal Block. You know...where they stick the giant needle in your back to numb you up? Well, they didn't tell me to stay still, and being the NEEDLE FREAK that I am, I jumped when he put it in my back. The anesthesiologist grabbed me and said, "That could have paralyzed you. Please be still." REALLY? That might be something you should cover BEFORE the shot.

I sat on the bed, trying to breathe, trying to be still...looking at Curtis and my doctor standing in the hall staring at me. I felt so alone and scared. But the second time worked. After the shot, they laid me down and fastened my wrist down on the table. It sounds like torture, huh? I guess they don't want me reaching out and attacking the doctors while they have knives in their hands. Valid point.

Curtis came in along with the doctor. I knew we were getting close.

The C-section expereince is so BIZARRE. It sounds like a construction zone. I seriously wondered if they were using a chain saw on me at one point. My favorite part might have been when Doctor #2 got a phone call from his CAR DEALERSHIP and he TOOK THE CALL while operating on me. The nurse held his cell phone up to his ear and he talked. Yeah, I'm totally serious. And I'm thinking, "hey, this is my first kid and this is supposed to be magical and I'm listening to you discuss when you are going to pick up your car this afternoon." Sigh.

Oh wait...I forgot about my other favorite part... when Curtis leaned over and said "Your parts are laying out on the table." MY PARTS? Apparently they take out some organs in order to reach the baby. I didn't ask for much detail cause that made me want to throw up.

Then I heard "You are going to feel some pressure." To which Curtis described to me as Doctor #2 almost on top of the table using his elbow to push the baby up so they could pull her out. Yeah...these are the things they don't write about in books.

And then my doctor said, "OH MY GOSH....she's HUGE!" And Curtis just started laughing and crying and saying, "She's here...She's here...She's so big.... She's so beautiful." I will never forget the sound of his voice at the moment. It was so full of hope and joy and pride and love.


I didn't hear her cry for a few seconds, and I was so scared. It was such sweet relief to her her high-pitched scream, then I just wanted to see her. Please...let me see her. I've never wanted anything so bad in my entire life.

After they cleaned her off, they brought her over to me. I didn't know what to think. It almost didn't seem real. I couldn't hold her (hands are still strapped down.) I could only look at her. It was as if she wasn't really mine. But I knew I loved her. I knew I had never seen anything so perfect. So beautiful. So right.

When they took us back to the room, I must have counted her fingers and her toes a 100 times. I wanted to be sure she was as perfect as she seemed.


She was a perfect 9lbs. Not 10 1/2 like the doctor thought. But her head was quite large and after she was delivered, my doctor said, "Kristi, you made the right choice. There isn't anyway she would have made it through the birthing canal." To which the eloquent nurse responded, "Yeah, not with that bowling ball head." Wow. Again. First kid people. I need the magic fairy tale. Yeah...so much for that.


I guess it didn't matter what the nurses/doctors said or did. Haley was here. Perfectly healthy. She was beautiful and strong. Her presence had already started to heal the brokenness that I had been feeling. (As referenced to in Blog 1.) Our lives felt messy and confusing...but she made everything clear. This was now our new priority. Parenting. Loving. Being a family of 3. We were so excited. We knew how blessed we were. It was a beautiful day.