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Saturday, May 10, 2008

I KNEW IT!

I have always been petrified of buying weird, embarrassing items at the grocery store. Maybe not even weird, but items that let people see into your private lives. It could be personal things...wart or bunion cream, tampons, Gas-X, condoms, hemmorroid cream...(Not that I have bought these...I'm just thinking of embarrassing personal things...wink wink.)

I even get paranoid if I've bought more junk food than healthy food. Especially when I have the kids with me...I don't want people to think I feed my kids junk. I try to tell myself that the clerks don't really look at what I am buying....that they are just looking for the barcode. Until TONIGHT!

There was a guy in front of me who was about 27-28. Of course, I checked out EVERYTHING in his cart...including Coronas, Salad, Hummus, Cucumbers, Apples, and the box of Breast Milk Storage Bags. The clerk started to ring him up. He picks up the box of Storage Bags, looks at the box, looks at the guy, and then sets the box back down. And then, AND THEN....he looks at the guy and says "ARE YOU LACTATING?"

HELLO????!!!!!! Exhibit A people. They look at EVERYTHING.

That's it...I'm ordering my groceries online now.

14 comments:

Heidi said...

I so know what you mean about buying personal stuff.

Okay.... so when I was about 7 or 8 months pregnant with Hope, I went to Target to get some maternity "declicates". The only cashier who was open was a teenage boy. Great. So he rings up all my stuff; the last thing left on the counter was the box of unmentionables. He scans them, (they're in a box set), holds up the box and says,

"Dude. Those are some big panties."

Nice.

So yes. They do pay attention to what you buy and they're not always shy about sharing their thoughts. And apparently some of them are not shy about demonstrating the fact that they don't have a filter between their brain and their mouth. Of course my filter was not fully functioning when I responded to his keen observation on the size of my garments, but that's a separate blog post altogether...

Kristi said...

Heidi- you can NOT be serious? Someone really said that????? Oh my gosh!!! That is horrible. Maybe he is related to mr "are you lactating?' man.

VikingMom said...

Yep. As much as I would like to live in the land of denial over this one...they do notice. I guess this makes sense because I'm always sizing up what's in the cart in front of me, so they might as well scrutinize mine.

By the way Heidi...that story totally takes the cake. What we go through to reproduce! Stretch marks, sleepless nights and rude comments from cashier.

Heidi said...

Yeah, unfortunately I'm totally serious. Kurt was with me when it happened - he's the one who kept me from committing man slaughter. It was hard to leave my dignity still intact. Especially since I was buckling under the weight of my box of giant underpants...

Don said...

Could it be the same cashier? Maybe Ralphs shuffles them around when they misbehave like certain ecclesiastical bodies shuffle certain ecclesiastical "employees."

I should shut up and get busy.

discomommy said...

I NEVER look in other people's baskets. I feel it is a violation of privacy. You are all violators...VIOLATORS!!!!!!

Don said...

One more thing...to all you lactaters, oversize p_ _ _ _ wearers, and caffeine deprived mothers and mothers-to-be, HAPPY MOTHERS DAY!!! I hope the humiliations are worth it!

Kristi said...

oh Gina...you must explain Violators...although i'm sure it won't be as funny unless you've seen the guy.

Heidi said...

Gina, I'm not a violator, I'm a violatee! I have been violated, violated!!!

sigh...

I have to go do my laundry now. I have like threee loads of whites. Those big panties take up a lot of room in the washing machine.

AMankin said...

funny funny girl--I am laughing out loud with tears running down my face. Life is so much funnier than fiction!

Stacey said...

Heidi,Ok, so that's about the rudest thing I've ever heard from a checker...but then again...WHO CARES what a punk, pimply faced kid says!!! Be proud of those big panties! You went through 9 uncomfortable months to be able to wear them!!! Oh yea, I had a checker ask me when my baby was due...when I wasn't pregnant...I told him "in three months".
And by the way, as you get older, you could care less what others think of your basket...I guess its a gift that comes with age.

Heidi said...

When, oh WHEN will people learn that you never ask a woman if she's pregnant! The only acceptable time to ask is if that baby is crowning. And even then - you should still act suprised.

The Craftypigs said...

I love this story. This is a sermon illustrating waiting to happen. Maybe even a drama idea. Perfect. Curious, what did the guy say?

discomommy said...

Oh no, VIOLATORS is a story that must be told in person. And the audience must have had a visual encounter with this person first, otherwise the pieces just won't fit!